I once found myself standing in a house thinking about where I would put a Christmas tree.

I was supposed to be looking at the property.

Instead, I was mentally moving furniture around.

The living room was large enough for the kind of sofa I have always wanted. There was a beautiful dining area beside it. The kitchen had enough space for somebody to actually cook without everybody else having to leave the room.

Then I walked into one of the bedrooms and thought, this would make a very nice guest room.

I do not even have that many guests.

But apparently, that was not important anymore.

In my head, I had already moved in.

This is the dangerous thing about beautiful houses.

They make it very easy to start imagining a life you have not actually decided you want.

You see the house and suddenly you are not thinking about the property anymore.

You are thinking about who you would become in it.

And I think there is a difference.

Sometimes they are the same house.

Sometimes they are very different.

I have noticed that people can become surprisingly emotional around property.

And I understand why.

A house is not just walls and finishes.

For some people, it represents finally being settled.

For somebody else, it is proof that all the work has finally started to mean something.

For somebody else, it is the family home they have imagined for years.

So when you walk into a beautiful property and immediately feel something, it is very easy to think that feeling is the answer.

I have done it too.

Not necessarily with buying a house.

But with wanting things because of what they represented.

There is something very convincing about being able to look at something and think, this is the kind of life I want.

The problem is that wanting the life and needing the property are not always the same thing.

You can want six bedrooms and only genuinely need three.

You can want a huge compound because it looks beautiful when you drive in, then spend the next few years wondering why you bought so much space.

You can want a particular neighbourhood because of what people think when you say you live there.

You can want the swimming pool, the cinema, the extra living room, the boys' quarters, the enormous kitchen.

And none of those things are wrong.

But sometimes, when you remove the excitement, you realise you were buying an idea.

I think about this a lot when I am showing properties.

Because I can tell when someone has stopped looking at the property and started looking at themselves in it.

Their questions change.

They stop asking about the things that matter and start imagining where everything will go.

“This is where the dining table would be.”

“My children would love this.”

“I can already see the Christmas decorations here.”

And honestly?

I love that part.

Because that is what a home is supposed to do.

It is supposed to make you imagine a life.

But there is another conversation that needs to happen after that.

Can your life actually fit into this house?

Not just financially.

Practically.

Emotionally.

Long term.

Because buying a property is one of those decisions where you can be completely right about what you love and still be wrong about what you need.

Hmm.

That one is uncomfortable.

Especially because nobody wants to be told that the house they love may not be the house they should buy.

And sometimes I think we make property decisions based on the version of ourselves we are trying to become.

The successful version.

The married version.

The version with children.

The version who entertains every weekend.

The version who has finally “made it.”

There is nothing wrong with wanting that version of yourself.

But you do not necessarily need to buy her house today.

I have caught myself doing something similar in other areas of my life.

Buying things for the woman I think I will become instead of the woman I actually am.

Planning around a future that has not happened yet.

And I think property can make that habit much more expensive.

Because with clothes, you can change your mind.

With a house, your money is sitting inside the decision.

And then there is the part people do not always think about.

The person who eventually buys that property from you.

Because one day, you may not be the person living there anymore.

Your needs may change.

Your family may change.

Your business may change.

You may move.

You may simply decide that you want something else.

And suddenly the question is no longer, “Do I love this house?”

It becomes, “Will someone else understand why this house made sense?”

That is where property becomes very interesting to me.

Because the best decision is not always the property that gives you the strongest feeling when you walk through the door.

Sometimes it is the one that still makes sense after the feeling settles down.

I think that is one of the things people underestimate about buying property.

The excitement happens immediately.

You can fall in love with a house in thirty minutes.

You may live with the decision for ten years.

So yes, I want you to like the house.

I want you to walk in and imagine your sofa there.

I want you to look at the kitchen and imagine Sunday mornings.

I want you to stand in the bedroom and think, I could actually live here.

But after all of that, I want you to sit down and ask yourself one slightly less exciting question.

Because sometimes the answer will be, “I need this much space.”

Sometimes it will be, “I need this location.”

Sometimes it will be, “I need somewhere my family can grow.”

And sometimes, if we are being completely honest, the answer will simply be:

And that is allowed too.

You just need to know which one you are making.

Because the house you want is not always the house you need.

And sometimes, the most expensive part of a property decision is not paying for too much house.

It is spending years trying to make the wrong house feel right.

I think I am becoming more interested in that part of property.

Not just what people buy.

But why they buy it.

Maybe that is where the real decision starts.

So let me ask you something.

When you picture the house you want, how much of it is actually for your life and how much of it is for the life you imagine having?

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MARGIN is Joy Amadasun’s personal editorial journal on real estate, life and everything in between.